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A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.

On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pant legs to keep his trousers dry.

When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting. “Pull down your pants, whispered the pastor.

“Uh, Reverend, I’ve changed my mind,” the groom responded. “I think I would prefer the traditional service.”

Before the summer ends, me and my hubby are planning to go to myrtle beach. One of my friends told me check out towers at myrtle beach. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called www.towersatnorthmyrtlebeach.com.Their is so much to do in the near all of the myrtle beach.

My hubby was so amazed at the bargains they were offering and told me to reserve the resort I wanted to stay at in the Myrtle Beach resort area. With their Myrtle Beach Resort which is very nice for a family vacation. So if you or someone you know is planning a trip, check out this website and see how they can help you.

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Momma, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked. With astonishment, he claimed: “I think it’s Adam’s suit!”

A friend of mine is looking to buy new pair of boots. She’s been to several stores already but she couldn’t find what she wanted. While I was browsing on the internet, I found this website called infinityshoes.com. They have a wide selection of boots to choose from.

Their selection includes sebago shoes, miz mooz, old gringo and a lot more. They offer very competitive prices for great quality products. Their been in the business for year providing great customer service. I can’t wait to tell my friend about what this website has to offer. So,check this out and see how they can help you.

A woman goes to her priest one day and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.”

“What do they say?” the priest inquired. “They say ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’”

“That’s obscene!” the priest exclaimed. Then he thought for a moment. “You know,” he said, “I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots whom I have taught to pray and read the bible. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and we’ll put them in the cage with Francis and Job. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying …that phrase… in no time.”

“Thank you,” the woman responded, “this may very well be the solution.” The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest’s house. As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage, holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison: “Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?”

There was a stunned silence. Finally, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed, “Put the beads away, Francis, our prayers have been answered!”

I have a friend that is attending college and wants to be a professor someday. She really likes to keep up on the latest news related to higher education. I told her about The Chronicle and what a great resource it would be for her. They talk about the latest news and related topics to higher Education.

Also, I noticed that Walden University was mentioned and other schools that my friend and I are familiar with and interested in learning more about. She was really impressed with the up to date and important information they provide each day that she reads their articles and stories.

A newlywed couple arrive at their honeymoon suite and prepare to have sex for the first time. As they start to settle under the covers, she tells her husband,

“I’ve got a confession. I’m not a virgin, but I’ve been with only one man.”

The husband thinks for a second and says,

“Well it’s 2003, that’s not unusual for you to have had premarital sex. But can I ask who the guy was?”

She fidgets for a minute, then says,

“Tiger Woods.”

Her husband is surprised by this response but tells her,

“Well, he’s rich, talented, and good-looking. I can see why you wanted to sleep with him.”

So they make love for the first time and when they finish he gets up and goes to the room phone. His wife rolls over and asks,

“What are you doing?”

He tells her, “I’m hungry. I was gonna call room service. Do you want anything?”

“Tiger wouldn’t have done,” she says.

“Oh really? What would Tiger have done,” he asks.

“Tiger would have come back to bed and made love to me a second time.”

So her husband puts down the phone and gets back to bed and makes love to his wife a second time. After they finish he gets out of bed and walks to the phone again. Again his wife asks,

“What are you doing?”

“Well I never called room service the first time and I’m still hungry,” he replies.

“Tiger wouldn’t have done that,” she again tells him.

“Oh really. And what would Tiger have done?”

“Tiger would have come back to bed and made love to me a third time,” she says.

So her husband goes back to bed and makes love to her for a third time. After finally finishing he rolls out of bed again and goes to the phone.

“Calling room service again?” she asks.

“No! I’m calling Tiger so I can find out what the par is for this damn hole!!”

Slot machines have proven over and over that a machine can create hours of entertainment while leaving no room for errors. It is no wonder that the slot machine is gaining in popularity, it is fast, convenient and there is no need for face to face contact with another person.   I play the slots most of the time and my hubby play other types of games that he usually plays in the real casinos. I really like playing different casino games whether it’s in an actual casino or on the internet. It’s real fun and convenient to be able to play some really fun slot games whenever I want. We like knowing detailed info about an online casino before we visit the website for the first time. It makes it easier to find the best places for us to play and saves us time from searching around not finding what we really want.  My hubby told me about casinogamblingindex.com that lists some really great online casinos and list very helpful information about each of them. This is where we found some great places that have casino games slot machines that we have a blast playing.  Before learning about the different types of slots I just played and never really thought about which type of slots to play. For me, the more I understand about the differences between games makes it easier to find the best games for me to play and better understand how the games work. This website lists the bonus offers available and has very impressive detailed reviews that include screen shots the specifics on the games found on each respective online casino website. There are other games we play too, which is one of the great parts of having so many different places to play. This website really helped me better understand the different types of slot games such as Reel Slots and Multiplier Slots among many other types.  My hubby and I have won some pretty nice jackpots by playing slot games online as several different casino websites. It’s fun for us to play after our daughter goes to bed or is at a friends house playing.  We always wondered how to get a bonus when you sign up for a new website to play slots and other games online. I have told many of my friends and relative about this website to give them a jump start in finding the best places to play casino games on the internet.

A philosophy professor stands in front of his class and fills a
mayonnaise jar with rocks that are about 2″ in diameter.
The professor asks the class if the jar is full…they agree that
it is.

The professor then takes a handful of pebbles and adds them
to the jar, shaking it so the pebbles fill the cracks and asks if
the jar is full and again the class agrees.

The professor produces a small bag of sand and proceeds to
add it to the jar, shaking it so it fill the cracks and asks the
class if the jar is full and for the third time they agreed it is.

“Now”…the professor says…”I want you to use this jar full of
sediment as a way of looking at your life…the rocks represent
the things that are most important to you, your family, your
partner and your health… things that are the cornerstone of
your life.”

“The pebbles represent things like your money, your job or
your dwelling,things that are important, but can be replaced.”

“The sand represents the small things in your life, for instance,
what you wear, who you are seen with or where you eat.”

“You’ll find, if you put the sand in the jar first, you won’t have
enough room for not only the pebbles, but most importantly
the rocks.”

“The same thing goes for your life, if you spend too much time
and energy on the small issues, you focus less on the things
that really matter.”

“Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness,
play with your children, take your spouse out on a date and find
time for that medical checkup, in essences, set your priorities…
you must take care of the rocks first, then let the pebbles and
sand fill your jar.”

As the professor finishes, he receives a standing ovation for his
presentation, but through the crowd, comes a pupil from the
back of the room wearing a backpack.

He goes to front of the class, takes a bottle of beer out, opens it
and pours it into the professor’s jar.

The student asks the professor…”would you say the jar now full?”

The stunned professor could only watch as the student answered
his own question…”then we must conclude, that no mater how full
your life is…there’s always room for beer!”

Why Law and Order Still Rocks!

This guest post from Doris Dillon

My family has been huge Law and Order fans for years. I remember being in high school and all four of us coming downstairs to watch a new episode on NBC — that was long before all the spin-offs and the repeats on TNT. I had a huge crush on Chris Noth, even back then — and man, he’s only improved with age, hasn’t he?

Now that I’m a SAHM, my guilty pleasure during the kids naptime is a good juicy Law & Order re-run. My Direct tv hd setup means I can just automatically keep a few episodes on my DVR, and without commercials, I can get through an episode in around 40 minutes. That’s about how long the kids will usually nap anyway — if I’m really lucky, they’ll sleep a little longer and I’ll try to finish a second one, but that rarely works out.

The original Law and Order isn’t too gory, so even if the kids wake up and wander in, it’s not like they’re going to see anything disturbing (no body shots after the opening credits.) So I like the comfort of that too. Recently, TNT has been showing the Angie Harmon Law and Order seasons — I forgot how much I enjoyed her on that show! I’m going to have to check out her new drama too.

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. “Sorry, but you can’t take your wealth with you.”

The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him.

The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed.

Soon afterward, he died and showed up at the gates of heaven to greet St. Peter.

St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, “Hold on, you can’t bring that in here!”

The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord.

Sure enough, St. Peter checked it out, came back and said, “You’re right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I’m supposed to check its contents before letting it through.”

St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, “You brought pavement?”

My hubby has a nephew, Daniel, that is finishing cooking school and wants to open up his own restaurant.  He is deciding whether to look to invest in an existing restaurant or to start a new restaurant from scratch.  Since my hubby knows a lot about starting a business. Daniel asked him for some advice.  My hubby said he has to consider a lot of things when looking to own a business.  There are advantages and disadvantages of buying an existing restaurant.  One major issue is the condition of the kitchen and bar equipment that have been is use for a period of time and may not be in the proper condition required to run a first-class establishment.  Having new and quality restaurant supplies is very important to the success of any restaurant.  Daniel has very high expectations because his dad is a doctor and has a very successful business of his own.  It will be very exciting to watch Daniel start his new restaurant and be on his own planning his own menu and cooking up great meals for people that will enjoy and appreciate his efforts.  He has worked in several restaurants already and has a good idea for a unique theme and menu selections.  He hasn’t told us all of his ideas yet, but he has us try out some of his appetizers. entrees and desserts to see how we like them.  He really listens to our feedback and tries to make changes in the recipe that improves the taste of the food, but still keeps its distinct flavor.  He’s got a good start so far, so as long as he keeps his focus and has the right tools in the kitchen, we are confident his restaurant endeavor will be a great success.

Two scottish nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the other, “I hear that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs.”

“Odd,” her companion replies, “but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do.”

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward him. “Two dogs, please,” says one. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their “dogs.”

The mother superior is first to open hers. Staring at it for a moment, she leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, “What part did you get?”

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