Three Kick Method

A solicitor from Dublin, while hunting in the West, brought down a fowl which landed in a farmer’s field. As the lawyer climbed over the wall to retrieve the bird, the elderly owner appeared asking what he was doing. The litigator replied, “I shot that bird y’see lyin there, and now I’m about to pick it up.”

The old man answered, “This is my property yer crossin into, and I’m tellin you, yer not coming over.”

The indignant attorney said, “I’ll have you knw that I’m one of the best solicitors in all of Ireland, and if you don’t let me retrieve my bird, I’ll take ye to court for everything y’own!”

The old farmer looked him over and said, “Well now, being as how you’re not from around here, you don’t know how we settle things like this. Y’see now, here we use the three-kick method.

“And what would that be?”, asked the lawyer. The farmer said, “First I kick you three times and then you do the same to me, and back and forth like that till one or the other gives up.”

The attorney thought this over, and quickly decided he could easily take the old codger, and agreed to the local custom. The old farmer walked slowly over to the lawyer. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy boot in the solicitor’s groin dropping him to his knees. The second blow nearly wiped the lawyers nose off his face. The attorney was flat on the ground when the farmer’s third kick to the kidney almost finished him.

The lawyer dug deep for his every bit of will, dragged himself standing, and said, “Okay you old bugger, now it’s my turn. The old farmer just smiled and said, “Naw I believe I’ll give up now. You can have the bird.”

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